It was 3am June 6th, 39 weeks and one day, that I woke up to a deep pelvic ache. It would grow in intensity and then fade, just like contractions. I went to the kitchen and decided I would make my red raspberry leaf tea for the day and try to clean the kitchen, since there was no way I was going back to sleep. I couldn't go very fast at all since I would have pretty intense contractions about every 5 or 6 minutes, and I figured it may not be real labor, but I'd continue cleaning the kitchen anyway just in case. I discovered whenever I sat down to rest, the contractions would space out to about every 10 minutes so my hopes were not high. I did end up sending a text to my midwife at around 6 am to call me, just because the contractions weren't going away. She called not much later and did tell me I was probably in early labor and if she came over the contractions would probably stop. She told me to keep working through them and to call her when my contractions were consistent even while resting.
Day 1
At around 7:30, I had made my tea and cleaned my kitchen. My doula called around then. I had sent her a text at around 4 am but her husband had turned her phone off! It was ok though, I wasn't worried. My doula told me to drink a ton of water and go for a walk. Aurella woke up around that time and was super clingy and tantrum-y. Way more than normal and I was getting really frustrated. I couldn't think when she screamed and she would hurl herself at my legs begging me to pick her up. I got Todd up (because yes, he is that good at sleeping) and we all planned to go for a walk together and hopefully Aurella would calm down. Now, I have to mention, during the pregnancy I had this beautiful fantasy of going into labor, having Aurella around the house while I labored and then having her at the birth. Which is so freaking hilarious to me now, because there was NO WAY IN H E DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS I was laboring with this child around. In fact, every time she'd freak out and scream and yell, my contractions would slow to a complete halt. I called Todd's sister who we'd arranged would take care of Aurella when I went into labor and we arranged for her to pick Aurella up after our walk. Trust me, I love that girl with the power of a million suns, but wow I needed her gone fast.
She is adorable.
As we were getting dressed to go to the park I passed in front of a mirror and noticed that I looked very different from the day before. I'll post a picture and see if you can tell...
Um just for kicks and giggles...
A BIT OF A DIFFERENCE!
Anyway, we came home and as soon as Aurella was gone, my contractions picked right up again. And that's when things got crazay.
I was starting to get that this was for real and knew I wouldn't be able to take a shower for a while after the birth so I quickly took one and then tried to take a nap. My last labor was 24 hours and I wanted to be rested, but the contractions were impossible to sleep through. A few minutes later and I was kneeling over my yoga ball telling Todd to push on my lower back as I worked through the contractions. My mom came about that time and was a wonderful support. I sent a text to my doula and my midwife at 11:09 am telling them this was the real deal and I was probably still in the beginning of labor so not to rush. at 11:25 I sent another text that told them to never mind, hurry! The labor was progressing fast. I was starting to feel that kind of pain that makes you wonder if you can truly get through it or if it will destroy you, but this time I had a plan to overcome it. I had put up those positive affirmations I made, all over my walls in my bedroom. They became crucial in allowing me to remember what I was doing and why in the midst of quick fast intense pain. I would start to slip and say something like "I can't do this" and then Todd or my mom would read one of my affirmations and I would repeat it over and over and just cling to it. That one strategy changed my entire labor from being like the first. I was happy, I remembered why I was doing this instead of just despairing. I was actively working and in between contractions I was excited and even happy, if a bit scared.
Day 3
When my doula and midwife finally got to my house around 12:45 pm, I was at a 9 dilated, which blew my mind! I figured I had HOURS to go until I was dilated that much! My wonderful beautiful doula jumped right in and gave me the most incredible counter-pressure that further empowered me to believe that I could do this. Everything was such a whirlwind I didn't even notice Todd slipping out, and I later learned that he had gone to mop the floor! I had asked him to do it earlier that day because, again, I knew I wouldn't be able to do it for a while. Love that man!
Day 4
After a few more really intense contractions I started grunting and everyone started encouraging me to grunt more, and if I wanted to push to do it. I was so excited for this part because last time it was the easiest part! I was brought to the bed and I started pushing, which I immediately began to understand that this was not going to be the same as last time. This was PAINFUL! My midwife later explained to me that she could tell it was a really big baby. She also saw that my pelvis was android, or heart shaped, which means it was shaped really small, so she had me push on my back to prevent tearing as much as possible. I am grateful for a midwife who had the experience to know what would cause the least amount of damage to me and what would be best for the baby. Now having said that, I HATED pushing on my back! Gravity was against me instead of with me, my stomach was so cramped that I would get nauseated and as I pushed I could feel my pelvis just tearing apart. I felt so much widening and pressure in my hips, which I now know was to make room for my 9.5 lb baby! It took an hour and twenty minutes of pushing. I again was clinging to my affirmations. My favorite one was "The best things are worth the work". Finally, and what seemed to me to be very sudden, my midwife said that the head was out! I kind of didn't believe her, but then after the next push they were handing me my baby!! I was shocked and delighted and relieved and overcome with awe at this beautiful babe. I heard my midwife say "Don't tell her, let her find out for herself what the baby is!"
I looked down and saw the umbilical cord in the way, but in my exhausted and hazy state thought it was a boy's anatomy, so I said "It's a boy!"
I looked down and saw the umbilical cord in the way, but in my exhausted and hazy state thought it was a boy's anatomy, so I said "It's a boy!"
"Look again," I heard, so I moved the cord and I saw that I was wrong! It was a precious sweet baby girl! My precious sweet baby girl. It was an incredible surprise, especially after all these months of feeling that it was a boy. Todd and I just snuggled her until I pushed the placenta out and Todd cut the cord. She had the most incredible spirit about her. So sweet. So peaceful. We didn't know what to call her. Names passed through my mind but nothing seemed right. Then Todd said, "How about Kate?" and it fit. A strong family name shared by Todd's Grandma Katherine and Great-Grandma Kate. The name we loved before we thought of Aurella's name. It was perfect.
Kate McNeill was born 6/6/16 at 2:25 pm. She weighed 9lb 9oz, 23 inches long. Birthing this girl was painful and difficult, but it was transformative and healing from my last labor. Kate is worth all the discomfort and our family wouldn't feel complete without her. It's been wonderful watching her grow and seeing how Aurella loves her and wants to help out. I've had quite a journey of healing but that's for another post...
